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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Let Us Entertain You



Three Men & a Bug

It was 6:00am at the Liberty Center pool when it happened !

There we were, Jack, Charlie & I doing a morning swim, when suddenly Charlie stopped and gazed at the bottom of the pool.

...only to see a creature walking beneath the water.

Something on the bottom of the pool walking ?  Under the water ?

Jack and I stopped to examine the situation with Charlie, and the three of us couldn't figure out how something could walk under water without air to breathe.

What was this mighty beast that slept beneath the waters of the Liberty Center pool which concerned three macho men?

Someone had to "go in" to attack and remove this creature !
 Jack looked at Charlie, Charlie looked at me, and I looked at Jack. Then Charlie and Jack looked at me.  Someone had to confront the beast, and since Jack & Charlie were friends, the fingers pointed in one direction.....ME 
Down beneath the massive waves of the pool I went, carefully examining this creature.  Unfortunately, I can't see anything without my glasses, much less without my glasses under water, so it required a new strategy.

I looked around, and on the wall of the pool, there was a net.  This was the plan.  Net the beast and remove it from the sea.

As I leapt from the pool (again and again until Charlie & Jack finally pushed my rump out of dark water)....why was it so easy years ago which now required a two man operation to push me out...

I went for the net while Jack & Charlie cornered the sea critter that continued to walk beneath the dark waters (waters that looked dark, because I couldn't see 5 inches in front of my nose without my glasses).

It would take five attempts to corner the creature accidentally striking Charlie's head a few times while wielding the net, but finally, it was caught.

Charlie was now beneath the water as a result the head injuries suffered in the assault, but Jack was there to save him while I pulled the monster from the depth of the pool.

We had succeeded, and after a close examination, the monster was a spider with hundreds of legs (OK, maybe 6) that had managed to remain alive beneath the sea while humans swam in the pool.

We looked closely, and to our amazement, it started moving ! 
It was beneath the water for almost 30 minutes, caught, still alive, and showing his teeth at us in defiance.


He wasn't ready to concede defeat. He was tough, and he wasn't going down without a last ditch effort, but how do you defeat a sea creature after what we had endured?

You call the FEMALE attendant, Kathy, and the front desk, that's how !

Unbeknownst to Jack, Charlie, and I, Kathy was witnessing the entire event.

In between the stomach cramps she endured as a result of the laughter at watching "three men attack a bug" she finally decided to come into the pool area and solve the problem. (Did you really think you were going to get off easy, Kathy?)

Fatigued at "battle", Kathy examined the big net, saw the spider moving, and before I was able to stop her, lunged at the critter within the net trap with her bare hand.

"No," I cried, "this is a wild animal that might be poisonous. He defies death by breathing beneath the sea, after confronting and engaging three men in fierce warfare."  

Kathy retrieved a kleenex, tenderly cornered the beast, removed it from the net, and carried the brave combatant outside to deposit it on some frozen greenery,  She was of the belief that because of the scrimmage he had sustained, he did not deserve death, but instead, a reprieve from it's heroic battle with three men.

So how was this monster able to sustain life beneath the sea without oxygen?

Kathy knew the answer. 

According to her, it was the "hot air" created by the macho three guys in the pool.

OK, we conceded  that to Kathy, but it wasn't over yet.  We had to have the last word.

As Kathy went back to her desk, Charlie yelled...

"You should have been out here a half hour ago when it was walking in the lap lane."

2 comments:

  1. Great story. You write so well, amd should sell these stories to a local newspaper.

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  2. Shirley, what a sweet thing to say, but I've been told I'm too young to do that.

    But thank Jack & Charlie and Kathy as well. They made it all possible with their terrific sense of humor, something seniors need alot more of as they age.

    Thanks for the compliment. Glad you enjoyed it.

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