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Monday, March 25, 2013

It Took 20 Years...But It was Worth It !


A Catholic's Journey to His First Seder  (Part Two)



Yesterday I tried to explain the path of my "unofficial" roots to my first seder.

Today, this is what happened at my first one !

For those of the Jewish faith, having your only daughter bring home a Catholic...was bad enough....but wanting to marry him...well...

Watch  this sniglet from "Fiddler on the Roof" and you'll see a 19th century example of what it was like during those "dating years" !!!!

Nevertheless, it finally happened.  My future wife's Aunt Karen, finally invited me to my first seder, and...well...being the "new boyfriend"....I had to go.

As I walked into this small abode they called a home, I saw approximately 30 people standing on top of each other, waiting for the ceremony to commence.

All of the men were wearing beanies....black ones. 

I'd only seen that once before....on the Pope's head...and his was white !

OK, we had some common ground, at least both Jews and the Pope wore them.

Someone handed me one and in the spirit of the occasion, I donned it with pride, only having it slip from my long blond locks again and again....and that too, made me curious as I was examining the crowd of people.


I was the only one with blond hair, or for that matter, ANY HAIR AT ALL !


And....at that moment I believed I was beginning to understand the meaning of the word, TRADITION.

It was obviously part of the Jewish heritage for men to be without hair...that is, with the exception of Uncle Abe, who obviously had recently purchased his from a carpet wholesaler; and cousin Seth, whose head looked like a cornfield with little plants growing out it every few inches, that I subsequently learned were "plugs".

OK...now what ?

We sit down, and immediately to my right, is sitting Sister Anita...a Catholic nun, who was a close personal friend of the family. 

Ah...I was in my element !

....but...that too caused some curiosity, as I was being seated next to "those people," the ones who were obviously "not of the faith"...

...which I might add.....reminded me of my childhood when my parents would entertain relatives, and the kids were placed at a special table so as not to bother the adults.

No problem...now the seder begins and in the center of the table I see this small plate with some "stuff" on it I'd never seen before.



Was this the meal all 30 of us would share?

Oh boy...there was no need for a knife & fork, toothpicks would do the job.

But what was on that plate?

First, a shank bone.....a bone that looked like it had been sitting in the backyard that the dog refused to eat.

Second, an egg....OK, I'd eaten an egg...but never split it with 29 others.

Third, bitter herbs (maror)...Huh ? What the H _ _ _L is that all about?  I decided that I'd give my portion of that to the others.

Fourth, haroseth (a paste made of apples, raisins and nuts, mixed with cinnamon and wine)....something that looked more like dessert than a mainstay. 

Fifth, a green vegetable (karpas)....in this case parsley....yum !...have to  have a balanced diet to enjoy the dog bone and the herbs.

And...on a separate plate...a pile of  Matzo....unflavored crackers, with no butter in sight !


Now...they all want to pray in thanks for this "feast"  !?!?

And so, after hearing the words "baruch atah adonai eloheinu melech ha-olam" about 25-30 times, we did get few glasses of Mogen David, and then I got the best surprise of the evening.

...the stuff on the plate wasn't for eating, it was for show, and the real feast began !

And the brisket made its way along with all the fixins' and I was all set to dig in, when it hit me....



This might be the first night of Passover, but was also Friday....Good Friday, and do you know what Catholics DON'T EAT on Good Friday ?

MEAT...as in NO BRISKET !

This mouthwatering beef on a plate fit for a Roman god, was in front of me and I couldn't eat it.



I pondered, I prayed. I was tempted...but the Catholic part of me was ALSO sitting next to Sister Anita....who I also unfortunately informed...I was a Catholic !

I looked at her, she looked at me, and we both put our hands together in prayer and said, God would never allow man to waste what he placed on this earth to eat....

And...we both dug in

We succumbed to the temptation these Jewish people had subjected us to !  It was their fault !  After all, guilt was supposed to be a part of their upbringing according to Sister Anita, and not to blame them...well, just wouldn't be "Christian".

I have to live with that moment, because there will be a day when Sister Anita and I will be forced to plead our case to St. Peter in order to open those gates.

But was it over ?


...no way !

We eat...and the prayers start all over again...lasting forever, until a part when someone got up and opened the back door. 

It was March, and it's cold in Chicago in March, and this guy opens the back door !

Why ?

....because we were to have another guest who obviously was late for the meal, someone named "Elijah".

And low and behold... as that door opened, in walks this young man with olive skin, black shoulder length hair and dressed like a hippie  !



I looked at Sister Anita and said,  that's not Elijah, that's Jesus....and he coming to punish us for eating the brisket.

Turns out it was neither.  Aunt Karen's youngest son, who had been away for college (I believe entering his 12th year after changing his major 5-6 times) was late for the seder, and he just happened to get there as the door was being opened.

Now...all of you have to understand....I married this beautiful lady....and over the years I began to more fully understand the religious significance of a seder, the true meaning of Moses and his pleas to Pharaoh  to "let his people go" from the bondage they had suffered for years...



...the real TRADITION associated with that time, the devotion Jews around the world hold preciously in their beliefs....

...beliefs I might add...that are the foundation of Christianity.

Never forget...Jesus was also Jewish, and was sitting around a table having a Passover meal, when the foundation of the Christian faith commenced.

And so....to all of our Jewish friends and readers, let me join with my Jewish blog partner, Allen Weintraub, in saying....




"Good Pesach"

Dick Arendt

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