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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Let us Entertain You...with a Bit of History

Love Honor and "Obey"
 

Word three, OBEY,  once agreed to by any woman as they marched down an aisle...sure has changed genders, hasn't it?
 
...but is was September 12, 1922.....91 years ago today...that the Episcopal Church in the United States voted 36-27 to delete that word from any further marriage service.
 
Prior to that time, if you wanted to marry, that was the price every woman had to pay to "tie the knot" in most religions....
 
...but...
 
Just where and when did that tradition start?
 
In jolly old England during the reign of Henry VIII, that where and when !
 

As we all know, Henry the VIII married six times, but it was after his first marriage to Catherine of Aragon in 1509 and the pope's refusal to grant him an annulment after 24 years of marriage, that Henry came to the conclusion that in order to call the shots on what was, and what wasn't, a valid marriage, no pope was going to make that decision.
 
After all, "it's good to be the king" !
 
...but by 1533, Henry, after trying again and again to persuade Pope Clement VII to "change his opinion" due to Catherine's inability to give him a male heir to his throne, he decided to take matters in his own hands and tell the pope he was no longer welcome as the head of the church in England. 
 

Clement VII didn't appreciate his resistance; and in response, excommunicated Henry, saying he would face the fires of hell as a result of trying to tell a pope what to do.
 
Once again, Henry, in his correspondence to the pope...
 
...PS'd him by saying...
 

..."No Problem, Pope, I'll meet you there, pitchfork in hand....,,,but until that day comes, you stay in Italy where you belong, because this king just made you "an offer you can't refuse".....
 
..."that as of now, I'm the boss here in England".  

...AND....when Pope Clement asked him by what authority we could make such a decree, Henry once again reminded him, "it's good to be the king"...
 
...that kings make decisions, while popes in those days were usually replaced after being burned at the nearest stake...after disagreeing with kings !
 

Of course having some cutie pie named Anne Boleyn in the wings didn't have a single thing to do with it; but Henry, in his new found "ecclesiastical" power, thought....
 
"Now that I make the calls...."
 
BUT...
 
"I better think this one out before I get married again", a dilemma that has lingered throughout the history of mankind...
 

...so he decided to place a new word in marriage vows...
 
...and you guessed it...
 
...the word was...
 
OBEY !
 
Well now, as time marched on, many people have come to believe that this word was always part of the deal, but it was all because of Henry VIII and his being a control freak.
 
Henry may have been the king, but even he knew that a queen had certain powers...that could be withheld...if he insisted on being a male chauvinist. So the easiest way to make sure that couldn't happen, was....
 
...make it the law !
 
Yet despite this "legal demand"  that the word "obey" be a part of each marriage ceremony, his success at enforcing it wasn't very good....
 
Then again...."It's good to be the king", and if a wife refused, she paid the price...legally.
 
....Anne Boleyn (#2) and Catherine Howard, (#5) chose not to "obey" and , were both beheaded; he divorced Catherine of Aragon (#1) and Anne of Cleaves (#4) for refusing to "obey", (#3), Jane Seymour, died shortly after giving birth to his only male heir; and Catherine Parr (#6) survived him.
 
And though the Church of England removed this word in 1922, the "royals" kept it in their ceremony for years until a lady named Diana Spencer, married the current Prince of Wales.
 
She said "No Way", he said "OK", and well, that marriage didn't seem to work out very well either, did it ?
 
Now we have a lady name Kate Middleton who is married to Prince William, and though "royals" have their traditions; Kate too, has said...
 
..."Uh-Uh, Will; you want some of this filet, now it's your turn to "OBEY."
 
And so, we now have a future king of England changing the "royal Georgian" diapers to prove my point ! 
 

So...the word "obey" has somehow managed to change its meaning over the centuries...from a man demanding it of a woman...to a woman expecting it from a man !
 
And I, like many other married male creatures who have partaken in this  "holiest of unions", have sadly become a victim of the ages as well in that changing tradition.
 
...and I/we all owe it to Hank 8, the guy who was delusional  enough to demand a woman to "obey" ...and actually expect her to do it !!!!
 
Dick Arendt

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