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Sunday, November 3, 2013

Let Us Entertain You

Within the next few days you will be receiving the November, 2013 edition of The Vegas Voice.
 
Many of you know that I write a column entitled, "Say What !?!
 
We have received requests that this column be reprinted on Anthem Opinions as well.
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It's My Home...Not a Hotel !

It all started with a master plan…retirement and fun…until the word “visitors” entered the equation.



Visitors…how my attitude has changed over eight years…and how much I’ve come to dread some of them !



I have a few stories about visitors, and over time, I plan on explaining a few of my favorites...but...like all stories...I thought I'd start with the first...September, 2005.

I'll never forget the excitement about relocating to "the entertainment capital of the world".

It was all brand new !

I was now retired, and I was going to live it up for the rest of the ride. 

Like the Beach Boys once sang. “I saved my pennies and saved my dimes, giddy-up, giddy-up 409”; no more work; no more headaches; no more hassles in this boy’s life; just ME and WIFEY living a life of leisure day in and day out.



Monday was now Thursday, and Tuesday was now Saturday.  It didn’t make a bit of difference. It was “whatever I damn well pleased”. 

What better lifestyle than being able to...

... see the sun shining every day as I looked out at a beautiful mountain while sipping champagne from my hot tub,,,


... entertaining myself with Barry Manilow on a Tuesday, or Cher on a Wednesday, or Celine Dion on a Thursday...


...living in an income tax free state...

AND

...eating everything on a “buy one, get one free” basis.


Yes indeed, that was going to be my new life….riding it the hilt, for as long as I could !

but what I never figured on...was how my friends and relatives would forever consider ME their "entertainment center" for future vacations !

Oh I'm sure all of you have experienced it, and how many of those people have picked up the phone...after you haven't talked to them in years...and said...."Hey, we're coming to Vegas"...with the inevitable ending...

..."Could we stay with you for a few days?"

It all started so innocently for my wife and I....until...that first call.

"Hey, we're coming to Vegas"...blah, blah, blah, and well, you know the rest!

"Sure", replied the fool who didn't know better...ME.  Then the next question...from me...."How long are you planning on staying?" 

Then...the words...."2 WEEKS" came from the other side of the phone.



"You're coming for 2 weeks?  Uh huh, sure", my foolish lips responded...of course not telling my wife.

"We're coming out for a poker tournament".  (Oh great...they can't afford a hotel, but they can afford a poker tournament !)

There's more...."You are planning on renting a car, aren't you", I replied.

"No---we thought you would drive us to the Rio and pick us up".

OK---end of being nice...and decision making was about to take place.

I had to make a choice; being STUPID, or being HONEST...and for the sake of my sanity...and my marriage...I chose HONEST.

Now I understand that many people who are from out of town believe all of us live on "The Strip", but I had to let those particular individuals know that considering I'm a senior citizen, that I'd probably be dead in three months, if I did.

So--they got three days...and they had to rent a car.

And me, I got a new way of answering the other side of the phone when I heard the words, "Hey, we've coming to Vegas"...

...words every Las Vegas resident should commit to memory...

"Great...and what hotel are you staying at ?" 

Dick Arendt

5 comments:

  1. From reader...George Jacobs...Cleveland, Ohio...to Anthem Opinions

    OOH ! That's funny. I'll bet there are stories like this that your neighbors can tell you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From Dick Arendt...to reader, George Jacobs...

      George, you are SO RIGHT.

      One of the best neighbor stories was when he got a call from a long lost relative he hadn't seen in 15 years.

      The guy called him up, and did the usual "We're coming...Can we Stay?"

      My Neighbor thought he had an "out" when he told the guy he was going to be on vacation when we was coming.

      The response..."Well, then your home is empty. Can we use it"?

      My neighbor hung up.

      Delete
  2. From Dick Arendt....to Anthem Opinions readers...

    We want to hear if any of you have a good story as well. Send us an email at

    anthemopinions@gmail.com

    We'll happily post it for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. From reader....Joanne Heeren...Scottsdale, Arizona...to Anthem Opnions

    Very funny and very true!

    ReplyDelete
  4. From reader...Gayle Thompson....Minneapolis, Minnesota...to Anthem Opiinons

    I like the humor in this one. The underlying "elephant in the room" thought is why we book ourselves into a hotel. It avoids the imposition concern for both parties, and we just flat like the freedom and privacy of the hotel. That works well for us with family as well as friends. We want to keep the relationship on a friendly, fair basis.

    I think my counter offer for these first visitors would be "Cab fare from her to the Rio is about $30 - I'll cut you a deal and do it for $20 each way. On a daily basis, any winnings we share at 50/50 up to a max of $150, since that is the going room rate for the Strip. We'll let you keep all your losses....OR you can stay here for 3 days and rent a car. Deal?"

    ReplyDelete