Criminal Captured After
15 Years
It took years but it was
caught...and...the trial is soon to commence.
The
Criminal...
Betty
Bench
The Dastardly
Act:
Evading prosecution for 15 years while
residing in an unauthorized area, using the alias "landscaping
accessory".
...but then it happened
!
The "heat" had caught on
!
And a familiar sight showed
up....
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...with his
friend....
...with a familiar
sound...
But because they were unauthorized to
arrest the fugitive, they made note of the situation and called in two others to
investigate the atrocity !
And yet another sound could be heard as
they approached the homeowner !
As they cautiously approached the
"mouth piece" for the criminal fugitive from justice, one of the men said
loudly....
"What's this all
about?" asked the frightened homeowner.
"It's about the
bench...and...eluding capture all these years. It's considered "patio
furniture", is not in an authorized location..and it has to go", said the
man with the badge.
"But it's not patio
furniture, it's a decorative landscaping accessory", said the frightened
woman.
It made no difference to the man. All
he would say was...
The "boys" say it's
"patio furniture"....and what they say, goes...got it sweetheart...it's the
style of life they're concerned with, not
you".
"But I am giving
you the facts....it's not outdoor patio furniture, it's merely a decoration....a
landscaping decoration that is made of cement, is hidden behind a tree, weighs
over 500 pounds...and has been sitting there for 15 years", the woman
pleaded.
So...the woman, petrified of "the
boys", contacted others in the area who she believed would help
her.
And after searching and cruising the
"hood", she eventually discovered members of "the Bench
Gang" that had been "laying low" over the
years.
There was "Bottoms Bonnie" and "Cushie
Clyde".
"Tiny Tush
Tina"
The "Butts
Combo" gang
"Cheap Louie the
Loner"
" Willie
the Wedgie"
"Roger the
Rogue"
"Tiny Hiney"
" Flubby
Fats" with "Daisy
Donut"
"Freddie the Frog
Freak"
"Thunder Thigh
Tina the Tuba"
"Sammie the Sea
Snort"
And
Finally....
"Iron Mamma
Minnie"
Yes...everywhere she turned, the "gang"
had a presence.
Yet...it appeared that only she would
bear the brunt of the prosecution.
So....will the prosecutors seek out the
other offenders, or will they merely settle for prosecuting Betty Bench?
So...we now have the case before
you...the community...the jury !
What say
you?
Is Betty Bench a
landscape ornament or is she patio furniture?
Should she be left alone to live out
the rest of her life in peace, or should she suffer the fate of the wrecker's
ball?
We think she and "The Bench Gang" deserve amnesty and be allowed to coexist
along with the many other "lawn decorations" we discovered
!
Ridiculous? Sad, but
true.
It's just a humorous way to tell
a story of a woman in our community facing a violation of the Rules and being
subjected to a substantial fine...because someone in power...has no common sense and...
"needs to get a
life"
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