Love Honor and
"Obey"
Word three, OBEY, once agreed to by any woman as they marched down an
aisle...sure has changed genders, hasn't it?
...but is was September 12, 1922.....91 years ago today...that the Episcopal Church in the
United States voted 36-27 to delete that word from
any further marriage service.
Prior to that time, if you wanted to
marry, that was the price every woman had to pay to "tie the
knot" in most religions....
...but...
Just where and when did that
tradition start?
In jolly old England during the
reign of Henry VIII, that where and when !
As we all know, Henry the VIII married six
times, but it was after his first marriage to Catherine of Aragon in 1509
and the pope's refusal to grant him an annulment after 24
years of marriage, that Henry came to the conclusion that in order to
call the shots on what was, and what wasn't, a valid marriage, no pope was going
to make that decision.
After all, "it's good to be the king" !
...but by 1533, Henry, after trying
again and again to persuade Pope Clement VII to "change his opinion" due to
Catherine's inability to give him a male heir to his throne, he decided to take
matters in his own hands and tell the pope he was no longer welcome as the head
of the church in England.
Clement VII didn't appreciate his
resistance; and in response, excommunicated Henry, saying he would face the fires of hell as a result of trying to tell a pope
what to do.
Once again, Henry, in his
correspondence to the pope...
...PS'd him by
saying...
..."No Problem, Pope, I'll meet you
there, pitchfork in hand....,,,but until that day comes, you stay in Italy where
you belong, because this king just made you "an offer you can't
refuse".....
..."that as of now, I'm the boss here in England".
...AND....when Pope Clement asked
him by what authority we could make such a decree, Henry once again reminded
him, "it's good to be the
king"...
...that kings make decisions, while
popes in those days were usually replaced after being burned at the nearest
stake...after disagreeing with kings !
Of course having some cutie
pie named Anne Boleyn in the wings didn't have a single thing to do with it; but
Henry, in his new found "ecclesiastical" power,
thought....
"Now that I make the
calls...."
BUT...
"I better think this one out before
I get married again", a dilemma that has lingered throughout the history of
mankind...
...so he decided to place a new word
in marriage vows...
...and you guessed
it...
...the word
was...
OBEY !
Well now, as time marched on, many
people have come to believe that this word was always part of the deal, but it
was all because of Henry VIII and his being a control freak.
Henry may have been the king, but
even he knew that a queen had certain powers...that could be withheld...if he
insisted on being a male chauvinist. So the easiest way to make sure that
couldn't happen, was....
...make it the
law !
Yet despite this "legal demand"
that the word "obey" be a part of each marriage
ceremony, his success at enforcing it wasn't very
good....
Then again...."It's good to be the king", and if a wife refused, she paid the
price...legally.
....Anne Boleyn (#2) and Catherine
Howard, (#5) chose not to "obey" and , were both beheaded; he divorced Catherine
of Aragon (#1) and Anne of Cleaves (#4) for refusing to "obey", (#3), Jane
Seymour, died shortly after giving birth to his only male heir; and Catherine
Parr (#6) survived him.
And though the Church of England
removed this word in 1922, the "royals" kept it in their ceremony for years
until a lady named Diana Spencer, married the current
Prince of Wales.
She said "No
Way", he said "OK", and well, that marriage
didn't seem to work out very well either, did it ?
Now we have a lady name Kate Middleton who is married to Prince
William, and though "royals" have their traditions; Kate too,
has said...
..."Uh-Uh, Will; you want some of this filet, now it's your turn to "OBEY."
And so, we now have a future king of
England changing the "royal Georgian" diapers to prove my point
!
So...the word "obey" has somehow managed to change its meaning over the
centuries...from a man demanding it of a woman...to
a woman expecting it from a man
!
And I, like many other married male
creatures who have partaken in this "holiest of unions", have sadly become a
victim of the ages as well in that changing
tradition.
...and I/we all owe it to Hank 8, the guy who was delusional enough to demand a
woman to "obey" ...and actually expect her to do it
!!!!
Dick
Arendt
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