When It Happens...
Is Your Spouse Ready ?
With all of the new found time many of us now have, perhaps it might be a good time to sit down with a spouse or loved one with a glass of wine, and talk...
...talk about some plans that you previously made, or even more importantly, update those you already have ! .
Things change over time. That's the excitement of living, but what may have been applicable "then", may not be now...
...and thinking about it "now", greatly assists those we love, "then".
...and we all know that the "then" someday becomes "when"...
... and that "when" is what all of us must someday face...
...and thinking about it "now", greatly assists those we love, "then".
...and we all know that the "then" someday becomes "when"...
... and that "when" is what all of us must someday face...
Death
It's not a pleasant thought, but all of us and our loved ones will have to face it at some point; and making it easier on those we love, means planning...
...in order to adapt to a new lifestyle.
When it comes to our senior generation, usually one partner is the "bill payer"; the "financial guardian", often neglecting to make sure the other is aware of what those bills are, when they arrive, how they are paid, and if there are sufficient funds to pay them.
For many, it's always been that way, and this is in no way a criticism.
...in order to adapt to a new lifestyle.
When it comes to our senior generation, usually one partner is the "bill payer"; the "financial guardian", often neglecting to make sure the other is aware of what those bills are, when they arrive, how they are paid, and if there are sufficient funds to pay them.
For many, it's always been that way, and this is in no way a criticism.
Perhaps the biggest surprise of a surviving spouse is that YOU'RE SINGLE again, that you no longer have the advantage of a "joint income tax return", and there's one less check being deposited each month in a bank account.
That in itself, can be a shock if a spouse in unaware of how that will affect their life; but in addition, life can become even more complicated with stress if the location of vital documents cannot be readily available.
Do you know what these documents are and where they are located?
All too often it's a subject that is rarely discussed, and "then" at the moment the "when" takes place, without that knowledge, an attorney is consulted at a cost of thousands of dollars, to complete a task that could have and should have been completed prior to that time in the privacy of a home between two loving people.
Perhaps sometime before the "shutdown" ends, you might want to sit down with that loved one, get a piece of paper and pencil, and make sure that individual is aware of both how life will change, that they be aware of those inevitable changes, the planning made when that change occurs, and where these vital documents are located.
All too often it's a subject that is rarely discussed, and "then" at the moment the "when" takes place, without that knowledge, an attorney is consulted at a cost of thousands of dollars, to complete a task that could have and should have been completed prior to that time in the privacy of a home between two loving people.
Perhaps sometime before the "shutdown" ends, you might want to sit down with that loved one, get a piece of paper and pencil, and make sure that individual is aware of both how life will change, that they be aware of those inevitable changes, the planning made when that change occurs, and where these vital documents are located.
- Will
- Letter of instruction
- Birth certificates
- Marriage certificates
- Citizenship papers
- Divorce/separation papers
- Adoption papers
- Social security numbers/cards
- Passports (numbers and expiration dates)
- Driver's licenses (number, expiration dates)
- Military records
- Names/address/telephone numbers of healthcare professionals
- Healthcare proxies/living wills
- Medications (dosages, name of prescribing physicians, pharmacy, address/telephone
- Address and phone numbers of hospitals of choice
- Medicare numbers
- Medicaid numbers (caseworker numbers, address/telephone)
- Social worker or caseworker names and contact information
- Passwords, web sites, and other digital information
- Income sources (retirement and/or disability benefits, Social Security, etc.)
- Financial assets (institution names, account numbers, address/telephone, form of ownership, current value) of cash, bank accounts, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, money market funds, retirement and pension plans, IRAs, annuities, life insurance
- Real Estate (property addresses, location of deeds, form of ownership, current value)
- Other assets (location of items/titles/documents/form of ownership, current value) including automobiles, boats, inheritances, precious gems, collectibles, household items, hidden valuables/items in storage, loans to family members/friends
- Liabilities (Creditor institutions, address/telephone, approximate debt) of mortgages, personal loans, credit cards, notes, IOUs, other).
- Trust documents
While
some of these records need to be physical copies (like your birth
certificate), others, like contact info, a copy of your will, and
property information can be digital, so use whatever system you're
more comfortable with.
Whatever you decide, keep everything organized together in a folder and let a family member know where that folder is located.
Years ago, when I began my career in the insurance industry, I will never forget my first boss making me aware of proper planning, when he asked me:
"Do you love your wife?
"Of course", I said.
"Then does that love stop at death?"
I looked him with "questioning" eyes.
And then he told me:
"Then that love should include making sure she is able to continue her life if you're not here to share it with her."
Good advice, and certainly giving meaning to the saying in the film, "Love Story"...
...something you need not worry, if you take the time to plan.
Whatever you decide, keep everything organized together in a folder and let a family member know where that folder is located.
Years ago, when I began my career in the insurance industry, I will never forget my first boss making me aware of proper planning, when he asked me:
"Do you love your wife?
"Of course", I said.
"Then does that love stop at death?"
I looked him with "questioning" eyes.
And then he told me:
"Then that love should include making sure she is able to continue her life if you're not here to share it with her."
Good advice, and certainly giving meaning to the saying in the film, "Love Story"...
...something you need not worry, if you take the time to plan.
Several years before my father passed away he began asking me the have this "talk."
The very idea made me feel very uncomfortable since, as I'm sure many people would feel, it made it seem I was rushing him to go. We never did have that talk.
This past year my youngest daughter purchased a book for me called "I'm Dead, Now What."
The inside is like a journal of sorts but on each page you enter all these important things Dick has written about in this article..
It is available on Amazon.
The very idea made me feel very uncomfortable since, as I'm sure many people would feel, it made it seem I was rushing him to go. We never did have that talk.
This past year my youngest daughter purchased a book for me called "I'm Dead, Now What."
The inside is like a journal of sorts but on each page you enter all these important things Dick has written about in this article..
It is available on Amazon.
-
From Barry Goldstein...to...Anthem Opinions
Dick,
Great article, one of the most important you have ever written.
Several years before my father passed away he began asking me the have this "talk." The very idea made me feel very uncomfortable since, as I'm sure many people would feel, it made it seem I was rushing him to go. We never did have that talk. This past year my youngest daughter purchased a book for me called "I'm Dead, Now What." The inside is like a journal of sorts but on each page you enter all these important things Dick has written about in this article.. It is available on Amazon.
ReplyDeleteFrom Barry Goldstein...to...Anthem Opinions
ReplyDeleteDick,
Great article, one of the most important you have ever written.