New to retirement?
Been retired and feeling
like life is passing you by too quickly?
From USA Today
Five Top Stressors in Retirement
and
How to Cope
Amit Sood, author of "The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free
Living", says the keys to lowering your
stress include creatively tackling your stressors, having an attitude of
gratitude, accepting people, especially your spouse, for who they are, and being
kind to others and yourself.
Socialization is also a great way to ward off stress, says Steve Brody, a psychologist in Cambria, Calif., who works with retirees. He's the co-author of "Renew Your Marriage at Midlife" written with his wife, Cathy Brody."We are social creatures, so we need to stay connected with others."
It's important to deal with stressors because your chances of a heart attack, stroke, cancer or early death are lower if you have less stress, says Sood, a professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
Five common stressors in
retirement and ways to cope with them:
1.
Financial concerns.
Many retirees
experience stress from living on a fixed income, Brody says. They worry that
they won't be able to take care of themselves or their
family.
Stress-reduction strategy:
Beware of "awfulizing and "catastrophizing" your
situation," Brody says. Change your way of thinking. Instead of telling
yourself, you won't be able to make ends meet, think, "I don't have as much
money as I'd like, but I have $2,500 a month, and I can live on
that."
Adds Sood: Be grateful for what you have, and if
necessary, simplify your life. You might consider getting a smaller home — it's
less expensive and easier to maintain. Consider getting a part-time
job.
2. Health worries.
Health problems and changes in insurance coverage can
create enormous stress, Sood says.
Stress-reduction strategy:
Take care of your body by eating a healthful diet,
exercising regularly, getting enough sleep and getting preventive care, Sood
says. Don't become overly focused on your health and spend all your time
obsessing about it, he says. Play the hand you have. Embrace life's
uncertainties by letting go of the uncontrollable, he says. "We have to accept
the changes happening in the body and be grateful for the good health we have
and the medical care we have received."
3. Caregiving.
You may have to deal with the ill health of your
spouse, a parent or other relative. Being a caregiver, particularly for
illnesses such as Alzheimer's disease that involve cognitive impairment, has
been shown to be extremely stressful. The stress tends to accumulate for long
periods of time, years typically, and affects the health and functioning of the
retired individual.
Stress-reduction strategy:
The No. 1 strategy is getting help from others,
including relatives, friends and professionals. You should become informed about
the condition and how to deal with it. On the positive side, you know you are
easing the suffering of someone close to you.
4.
Relationship issues.
Some people
have not reconciled their differences with their spouse or learned to accept the
other person for who they are, Sood says. Some retirees feel lonely and isolated
after leaving colleagues, and others don't get to spend as much time with their
kids and grandkids as they'd like, Brody adds.
Stress-reduction strategy:
Learn to accept your spouse and others for who they
are, Sood says. Work on forgiveness. You don't want to close your life with lots
of hurts, he says. "The magic of retirement is having the time to nurture
relationships."
One of the keys to interacting with kids and grandkids
is give them space, and when you are with them try to help and support them with
their daily chores, he says.
Adds Brody: Adult children have a lot going on in their
lives. Being aware of that can help you adjust your expectations so you don't
end up nagging them or getting depressed over not seeing them
enough.
5.
Super-charged changes.
This is a time
of enormous change. You are leaving your job and friendships with colleagues and
finding new things to do, Sood says.
Stress-reduction strategy:
Realize that your brain's reward center likes variety,
so give yourself a variety of experiences, Sood says. "Let your best friends not
be the TV, refrigerator or couch. Let your best friends be real people, books
and sports shoes."
Treat your first year in retirement as if you are
"interning" to give yourself time to readjust and set new expectations, he says.
Find meaning in new passions, including possibly using your work skills in a new
job or volunteer work.
Brody says three keys to a successful retirement are
finding a sense of purpose for yourself, structuring your day and replacing the
social connections you lost when you retired. Also, if you can retire gradually,
going to a half-time job for a year before fully retiring, it's easier to
acclimate, he says.
Nurture your spiritual values, which may mean
developing a deeper connection with your faith, Sood says. "Live your life
fully, and say your 'I love you' every day." Most importantly, do not postpone
joy and do not bypass kindness."
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