From
a reader ...John Schmidt...

"How
Old Is Grandpa?"

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The
grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at
schools, the computer age, and just things in general...
The
Grandfather replied:
"Well,
let me think for a minute.  I was born before:
 television 
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
Frisbees
The pill
 
There were no:
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
Frisbees
The pill
There were no:
 credit
                  cards 
laser beams
ball-point pens
 
Man had not invented :
laser beams
ball-point pens
Man had not invented :
 pantyhose 
air conditioners
dishwashers
 
air conditioners
dishwashers
 Clothes
                  dryers and clothes were hung out to dray in the
                  fresh air.
Space
                  travel was only in Flash Gordon books.
Your
                  Grandmother and I got married first,... and then
                  lived together..

Every family had a father and a mother.
 Until
                  I was 25, I called every woman older than me,
                  "maam".
After
                  I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man
                  with a title, "Sir."
We
                  were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual
                  careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our
                  lives were governed by the Bible, good judgment,
                  and common sense.
 We
                  were taught to know the difference between right
                  and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility
                  for our actions.
Serving
                  your country was a privilege; living in this
                  country was a bigger privilege.
 We
                  thought fast food was eating half a biscuit while
                  running to catch the school bus.
Having
                  a meaningful relationship meant getting along with
                  your cousins.

Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing
                  meant time the family spent together in the
                  evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
 We
                  never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
                  typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
We
                  listened to Jack Benny, and the President's
                  speeches on our radios.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
Pizza
                  Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard
                  of.
We
                  had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually
                  buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream
                  cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a
                  Pepsi were all a dime.
If
                  you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your
                  dime on enough stamps to mail 2 letters
                  and 4 postcards.
In my day:

"grass" was mowed.
"coke" was a cold drink.
"pot" was something your mother cooked in.
"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office.
"chip" meant a piece of wood.
"hardware" was found in a hardware store and "software"wasn't a word.
And
                  we were the last generation to actually believe
                  that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. 
                  
No
                  wonder people call us "old and confused"
                  and say there is a generation gap or from the
                  archives. 
How
                  old do you think I am? 
                  
                  

 This
                  man would be only 70
                  years
                  old   
 
 One
more thing...

 
 
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